Manuary

Hey, I wasn't looking to get into this. It just sort of fell in my lap. I came back from Christmas Break and I hadn't shaved in a couple of days. There was a little stubble peppering my jaw, but nothing too spicy. Then in came my boss.

"Tim," he said, his face lighting up in utter joy, "I didn't think you had it in you."

"In me what?" I said.

"In you to do Manuary."

Manuary, you see, is an event held for back office employees during the month of January. The way to win said event is a little unclear. I'm not sure if it relies on length, thickness or the overall gnarl factor. But, because he was so excited, I had to commit.

So now, as it is the 28th, I have gone almost a whole month without shaving. It's gross. My mustache is a magnet for food, my beard constantly itches and when I'm wearing my wool cap, I resemble a homeless man.

If I don't win this, I'll be very disappointed.

Life Just Got Better...

Life just got better by about 5,000,000,000,000,000 percent.

And here's why:

1. They just opened a super chill coffee shop.

a. It serves my hometown favorite, Stumptown

b. It is in the bottom floor of my gym!

I am shivering with anticipation. Amazing.

With all of this in place, it's going to be harder then ever to leave this place.... I heart NY.

There is a Mish-Mash in My Brain

Being home sick all day I've been watching a lot of Hulu.com.

There's one ad that keeps coming up again and again. It has Ms. Piggy, Kermet and the whole gang volunteering for a free ticket to Disney Land and then subsequent scenes of them in the Magic Kingdom, spinning on tea-cups and having a wonderful time.

Isn't it weird that Jim Henson is mixing with Walt?

This is like the Red Sox haning up a Yankee's logo in Fenway. Like a dolphin dating a shark. Like putting diesel in your engine.

Blasphemy.

New York Chapter Sixteen: Going Home

New York Chapter Sixteen from Tim Lane on Vimeo.

Rollin in my Walker

Here’s something I’ve been pondering…

What’s going to happen to rappers when they grow old? Let’s look at some startling facts.

1. Jay-Z turned 40.

2. Dre is clocking in somewhere in the mid-40's.

Reverend Run is a family man.

Rapping, the essence of it, the very charm of it, is in the youth and energy. The act of rebelling against the old. Like Rock and Roll, it builds its fan-base by revolutionizing, shocking, and making music people can dance to. The difference is that old Rock and Roller’s have a tried and true career long into their grey years. The good ones, after all, are still virtuosos on their instruments. BB King’s guitar still shreds, Carlos Santana still bends notes like silly putty and Bono and the Edge still get down. The fact of the matter is, that no matter if they stoop, no matter if they lose their hair, what they do will still sound good.

I wonder if it’s going to be the same for Jay. Is he still going to be credible dropping those club hits featuring the next young singer 10, 20, 30 years his junior? Will the kids still jam to the Hova when he can’t open a jar of jam on his own?

Should rap stars be looking more closely at their retirement plans or will a comeback tour for Jay at the age of 60 be able to pay the bills?

Just a thought.

For An Amazing Read

Check out "The Stone Diaries" by Carol Shields. A book that started out a little slow for me but rolled and rolled, picking up steam until I felt like I knew the characters, was personally invested in their life. And funny. Boy, the lady had me laughing. Humor, I've come to believe, is the most versital tool in writing. It can slice up the anatomy of every emotion, especially sorrow, with the precision of a scalpel.