Thursday, January 28, 2010

Manuary

Hey, I wasn't looking to get into this. It just sort of fell in my lap. I came back from Christmas Break and I hadn't shaved in a couple of days. There was a little stubble peppering my jaw, but nothing too spicy. Then in came my boss.

"Tim," he said, his face lighting up in utter joy, "I didn't think you had it in you."
"In me what?" I said.

"In you to do Manuary."

Manuary, you see, is an event held for back office employees during the month of January. The way to win said event is a little unclear. I'm not sure if it relies on length, thickness or the overall gnarl factor. But, because he was so excited, I had to commit.

So now, as it is the 28th, I have gone almost a whole month without shaving. It's gross. My mustache is a magnet for food, my beard constantly itches and when I'm wearing my wool cap, I resemble a homeless man.

If I don't win this, I'll be very disappointed.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Life Just Got Better...


Life just got better by about 5,000,000,000,000,000 percent.

And here's why:

1. They just opened a super chill coffee shop.
a. It serves my hometown favorite, Stumptown
b. It is in the bottom floor of my gym!

I am shivering with anticipation. Amazing.

With all of this in place, it's going to be harder then ever to leave this place.... I heart NY.

Friday, January 15, 2010

There is a Mish-Mash in My Brain

Being home sick all day I've been watching a lot of Hulu.com.

There's one ad that keeps coming up again and again. It has Ms. Piggy, Kermet and the whole gang volunteering for a free ticket to Disney Land and then subsequent scenes of them in the Magic Kingdom, spinning on tea-cups and having a wonderful time.

Isn't it weird that Jim Henson is mixing with Walt?

This is like the Red Sox haning up a Yankee's logo in Fenway. Like a dolphin dating a shark. Like putting diesel in your engine.

Blasphemy.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Rollin in my Walker

Here’s something I’ve been pondering…

What’s going to happen to rappers when they grow old? Let’s look at some startling facts.

1. Jay-Z turned 40.

2. Dre is clocking in somewhere in the mid-40's.

Reverend Run is a family man.

Rapping, the essence of it, the very charm of it, is in the youth and energy. The act of rebelling against the old. Like Rock and Roll, it builds its fan-base by revolutionizing, shocking, and making music people can dance to. The difference is that old Rock and Roller’s have a tried and true career long into their grey years. The good ones, after all, are still virtuosos on their instruments. BB King’s guitar still shreds, Carlos Santana still bends notes like silly putty and Bono and the Edge still get down. The fact of the matter is, that no matter if they stoop, no matter if they lose their hair, what they do will still sound good.

I wonder if it’s going to be the same for Jay. Is he still going to be credible dropping those club hits featuring the next young singer 10, 20, 30 years his junior? Will the kids still jam to the Hova when he can’t open a jar of jam on his own?

Should rap stars be looking more closely at their retirement plans or will a comeback tour for Jay at the age of 60 be able to pay the bills?

Just a thought.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

For An Amazing Read


Check out "The Stone Diaries" by Carol Shields. A book that started out a little slow for me but rolled and rolled, picking up steam until I felt like I knew the characters, was personally invested in their life. And funny. Boy, the lady had me laughing. Humor, I've come to believe, is the most versital tool in writing. It can slice up the anatomy of every emotion, especially sorrow, with the precision of a scalpel.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Cali Love


Shades and poof hair-do. Done.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

My One Day

I had the Blazers against Knicks game circled on my calendar for months. Here was my chance to see a hometown team do good in one of the most historic arenas in the world. I was going to experience my new city with a slight flavoring of my old. I expected heated rivalry, crazy fans and a tension-rich environment.

My first disappointment came when I found out New Yorkers treat going to a Knicks game like going to a coworker’s birthday party: you show up a little late, you leave a little early, and it’s something to talk about at the water cooler the next day.

They fill half the seats, spend most of the game in line for beer and only really get loud when the t-shirt gun comes out. They tend to hold circular conversations about LeBron James, and if or if not he will be wearing the orange and blue next year. For a team whose motto this year is, “Declare Your Team,” they tend to focus on declaring and declaring and declaring a team that has yet to exist (next year’s team) starring a guy under contract for a completely different organization (the Cavs).

Within the first five minutes of play, I was certain that my Northwest boys were going to show these city kids how to play. Some hard work. A little grit. You know. Plus, the Knicks are basically that creepy older Uncle who lives in the basement this year, only coming up out of the shadows at the temptation of free beer or pizza. Or in this game’s case, Danilo Gallinari coming alive somehow. It would be a cakewalk.

However, in what has seem to become a yearly Blazer tradition, we were hit hard with the injury curse. Oden down with a knee injury, Rudy sidelined with a faulty shoulder, and Coach McMillan bedridden with a ruptured right Achilles tendon. Added to the Travis Outlaw and Nicolas Batum injuries, it’s beginning to get a little bit spooky. By my count we’re a good month and a half past Halloween, so let’s quit with the tricks already and get some treats.

Still, we put up a fight. For a while. But for the most part we were sloppy, we were lazy and we spent more time on the floor pleading for calls than making plays.

In one series of events, when the Blazers had managed to pull within eleven points with a little under six minutes to play, Jarryd Bayless tried to split the defenders on his way to the hoop only to lose control of the ball and wind up on the ground. As the Knicks galloped to the other end of the floor to a smattering of applause (which judging how the fans behaved the entire night, a smattering of applause is HUGE in Madison Square Garden) he held out his palms to the ref like a child instead of getting up and going after the ball.

Then, a little bit further on in the game, Brandon Roy started to heat up. He was making his signature tear-drops in the lane and his change of speed was giving the Knick defense fits. I started checking Knicks fans in my periphery, excited to finally show off how my Blazers get down. After rattling off two buckets in a row he split the defense again, but this time dished off to Joel Przybilla for what should have been an easy dunk, but which was instead volleyball spiked into the ground (it was a serious, I-miss-Oden moment). As Chris Duhan ran the ball down to the other end, Roy dragged his feet and let his head drop. He knew it. I knew it. Even most of the New York fans, despite spending more time gossiping about appearances by Celine Dion, Rihanna and the guitarist from Def Leppard than watching the game, knew it.

We had our chance, we had our shot, and we blew it. We blew it in the most famous arena in the country.

With three minutes to go, Knicks fans began streaming for the exits. Some were excited, but most were simply not.

“Yeah, yeah,” I heard one guy say, “it’s like this is the one night we can be happy this whole season.”

Well it was for me, too, and now it’s been taken away. I DO NOT want to talk about this at the water cooler tomorrow.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Hockey

Rainy weather doesnt keep us from a Manchester Monarchs game.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Thanksgiving

Some reading and some music. All around pretty good Thanksgiving.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

A New Love


I've fallen in love again...

And there's a lot of people involved in this.

There's that grumpy old man in the corner, bison head mounted behind him, telling me that dull questions garner dull answers.

There's that difficult to understand chap at the table telling me if I didn't get his book on the first, second, or third times then read it a fourth...

They're better known as Mr. Hemingway and Mr. Faulkner. And they, along with other literary heros of mine stretching from William Carlos Williams to Kurt Vonnegut, are all in my sweet new set of books, "The Paris Review Interviews (Boxed Set) I-IV."

Since I got them, I can't put them down. It is an aspiring writer's (or any lover of literature's) dream come true. It is amazing to get into the heads of these amazing writers. I recommend it to all.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Multimedia message

Getting drinks at Zachs restaurant. Take that Kevin Bacon!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Tomorrows and Yesterdays

Are tomorrows getting shorter?

How about yesterdays?

The older I get, the faster time moves. It courses along at a quicker, and more ragged pace. It eats away at its own banks and before you know it, you are a lake and not a river. Childhood for me could be written like this:

Wake up. Go. Eat. Play. I’m gonna be a writer. TV. School. Don’t push me. A pilot. Best friends? Eat. Four-square. An actor. Flower and bee. Don’t sting me. Pulled wings. A doctor. Go. Go. Eat. TV. Wrestle. I’ll make movies. Cry. He called me… He pushed me… Sleep. Be a travel photographer. Dream. Wake up. Go.

It wasn’t so much a question of where I was headed. It was just a question of the pace I’d take to get there. I never wondered about the future. I was blessed to know my parents loved me, my teachers believed in me and that clouds in the sky I thought looked like an elephants, no palm trees, were the limit.

But.

Now.

Things have changed.

I am happy. I am having adventures. But I blink and a month is gone. I cough and a day has passed. The long stretched taffy of childhood days has grown hard and concentrated. Don’t look now. It’s passed. Adulthood could be written like this:

Coffee in the morning because without coffee this day will be terrible. Catch the train, but I can’t run because if I run I will spill coffee on my hand and that will burn and it will stain. Turn on the computer and have a second, just one, to sit and think. OK, grade papers, plan events, make copies. These reports need to be put in by ten. These calls need to be made by eleven. Isn’t it my friend’s birthday tomorrow? I once spent an entire day watching all the Naked Gun's with him. What a waste. If I can get through this year, then I might be up for promotion in the next. I read a thing in the paper that says runners are smarter, live longer and I should really…

Here’s how I viewed time growing up at different ages:

1-10: What’s time? I got some ant collecting to do.

10-16: I can’t wait for next year because then I’ll be able to stay up past 10pm, go to PG 13 movies, go on dates, drive…

17-21: Time, so much time. Time to have bonfires, learn guitar, get drunk, sleep late, read books, watch movies, play video games, work out…

22-Now: I used to have so much time. What’d I do with it all? I should have done this… And this… and this… but it’s OK, cause I can do this… and this… and this… and make up for it all.

I guess time has gone from a peaceful, coexisting presence, like those birds that hop on the backs of rhinos and clean them of parasites, to being something I couldn’t wait to spend, and finally, to being something I am suddenly conscious of. Something to preserve. Ration. Invest.

The problem is, the more I blueprint tomorrow, the smaller it becomes. The more I map out yesterdays, the more impersonal they seem.

Who’s to say?

If only…

Monday, November 16, 2009

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Read Tree of Smoke


An intense book that was so chalk-full of good writing, and weighing in at a hefty 700 pages, I think it contains enough material for four independent, amazing books. But it is one. One big, huge, mama of a book.


Monday, November 9, 2009

The Making of Wunder

Chris and I are making a movie. It is called Franklin Wunder. Chris is making an awesome web series about it. Check it out HERE!

Sunday, November 8, 2009

A Bird In a Tree

So when I went to the park today, I noticed there were a ton of people with fingers and cameras pointed at the sky. I couldn't see what they were staring at until I saw a huge, white hawk alight in one of the trees. This brought up a number of thoughts.
1. This was a beautiful thing, but...

2. Jeez people were going crazy about this bird, which made me think...

3. People in New York might be seriously lacking on wildlife, but they aren't short on celebrities because...

4. The other day while I was sitting in the park, Alec Baldwin rode up on his bike and sat next to me and while some people noticed, it wasn't that many at all. Then, to elaborate on this point I went to...

5. Urban Outfitters where I saw Shia LeBouf shopping with his girlfriend and everyone was just treating him normally kind of like how...

6. In Oregon we think wildlife is no big thang but...

7. If a celebrity rolled through, cameras and fingers would be unholstered.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

For Richard

At work, we had a "Secret Pumpkin" gift exchange. For my "Secret Pumpkin," I made him a video.


What Makes Richard Great from Tim Lane on Vimeo.