The End of the World

Have you heard that the world is ending? Our economy is in a (dare I say it aloud?) recession. It’s true, so get your money under your mattress, learn how to tie a tight bindle, and work on your timing so you can hop trains without losing legs. The stock market is pitching like a boat lost at sea and because of our global interconnectivity most other developed countries are following suit. (You're not safe either, China, this financial scourge doesn't play favorites.)

Listen up, Oregon, it's every man for himself!

Salmon-heads on the coast, pause your incessant casting, bronco riders in the east, quit your rodeoing, tree-huggers in the south, stop your Shakespeare and everyone listen up! The sky is falling, Chicken Liken, the sky is falling.

Of course the day-to-day is going to pass without fail so don’t get too worked up. I’m going to go to sleep tonight and I can almost guarantee I’ll wake up tomorrow. Even if the stock market goes poof and is gone from existence, I’ll wake up tomorrow. Even if the financial health of our country gets so low-down sickly that Warren Buffet is panhandling for spare change at freeway off-ramps, tomorrow will come.

Then what’s going to be left when our economy is crumbled away and we are at the GDP level of, let's say, Sweden?

I guess everything from before, right? But did people do stuff when the Dow was below 7,000? Did they even have wireless internet then? I guess if tomorrow is still going to come you might as well fill it with something good. Salmon-heads, pick up your poles; bronco riders, get back on your horses; and tree-huggers, hug your trees and recite your pretty words.

That is unless you have nothing to eat and there's begging to do, cause in that case, get to your begging - there's a recession going on these days, haven't you heard? I'll see you in car 18. I'll be the one they call Flap-Jack (I always wanted that nickname).